Behind my black Target zip up hoodie lies my protruding belly. More than a few people have asked me if I’m having twins (which I’m NOT). I’ve gained about 28 pounds up until now, and expected to gain a half to a full pound per week from here on out. These days I wear cami tanks with shelf bras just to hold everything in place. I can’t reach the floor and have this overwhelming sense of disappointment when I drop something on the ground or need to pick up dirty socks or clothes. (More on that in a minute.)
Sleep is a thing of the past. I’ve always loved sleep. My dad said that naps keep you young. In fact, many countries encourage workers to take siestas or naps at their desks. Unfortunately, by the time 6am rolls around, I’ve been up twice during the night to pee, guided by the neon blue night lights that Sean purchased for me so I wouldn’t fall into the toilet. (He forgets to put the seat down sometimes, but I still love him.) Despite the investment in a Sleep Number bed, my back hurts so bad that I don’t want to lay down after I get up that second time.
The good news is that despite my morning grogginess, my nesting instincts have made me compulsive about cleaning the house, picking out clothes, and preparing the coffee pot for the morning. I think subconsciously, it’s my brain’s way of compensating for elevated hormones and ensuing forgetfulness.
Today, I threw down the yoga mat that sits next to my desk and rolled around on it doing my best to stretch those hard-to-stretch places. My finger joints are incredibly stiff and sore, likely due to the swelling that also results in lovely cankles that worsen by the end of the day. Yesterday, I wore strappy platform sandals, and by the end of the day, the ankle straps were not visible. At least my toe nails were painted… a feat accomplished by contorting my legs on the bathroom sink accompanied by grunts as I stretched to dab polish on each toe.
My friend Cassie told me Sunday that she loved being pregnant. I hear women say that. I am not one of them. I definitely took things for granted before I got pregnant. It takes me so long to waddle from my car to the grocery store entrance that I am seriously considering asking my doctor for a handicap parking designation until the baby comes out. Some of the HEB Grocery stores in the nicer neighborhoods have “Expectant Mother” parking. Not in my hood. The demographic of my culturally diverse area lends itself to many pregnant women. I was fortunate enough today to meet a nice lady in line at HEB with a cute 3 month old baby. She gets calls from family, friends, and coworkers all day. Unfortunately, her baby is up all night, and she sleeps all day, often barking at well-meaning well wishers.
As a “Certified Good Vibe Technician” I can’t leave this post on a sour note. I must admit that I’ve used my pregnancy as a reason to eat way too many Hershey’s chocolates– the little bricks in a gold wrapper with almonds and toffee chips. I love food, and this is the one time in my life where I’m gonna eat whatever the heck I want because I can. I LOVE strawberries and there must have been a strawberry explosion because I can get the mega size for $2 at the grocery store. I don’t like it when they get all gross and mushy, so I eat them in one day, methodically cutting stems and coring them before I dig in with a fork. Yesterday, Sean and I contributed to a meal of steaks and mashed potatoes, a celebratory feat accomplished on his new grill. I put extra butter in the mashed potatoes, but don’t tell him that. 🙂
I like that my hair is thick and my nails are stronger and longer than they’ve ever been. I still don’t have stretch marks and I’m crossing my fingers that I won’t get ’em, even though Sean told me he would think I was beautiful even if I did have stretch marks. I like that people are willing to do nice things for you, like let you cut in a bathroom line. I like the compulsion that drives me to enjoy pulling weeds and mowing the lawn for hours on end. I like the little tech culture inspired onsies that friends have purchased for Milo. I like that pregnancy sparks the curiosity in strangers and starts a conversation. Sean likes that my boobs and butt are….let’s just say they’re a little more “robust.”
With 54 days to go, I’m going to look at the bright side of pregnancy, apologize for my short temper, and know that this is a small price to pay for an awesome present.
🙂
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